Overcoming Your Fear of Networking

Source: rocket50

By: Marie Jerusalem       

Date: September 27, 2023

As a career consultant for over 30 years, the number one derailer that I have seen over the years with clients is their inability to network. Call it shyness or introversion but most people hate to do it.

The problem is that in today’s world if you want to advance yourself for a new role, promote a new idea for a business or just increase your knowledge - you need to get out and talk to people. Think of it this way, as long as you haven’t had the conversation, no one knows you or your ideas! Yes, there is always the chance that people will reject your concepts or even your offer to meet. But, this is the name of the game - keep going and eventually you will be at the right place at the right time. 

I coach my clients to think about it as a game. You need 9 rejections to get to a positive outcome, so you had better get started because you need to collect the 9 to get to your eventual goal!

There are many ways to network including the use of social media networks like Linked in or rocket50 or if you are someone who has kept your phone contacts over the years, scroll through and see there is someone you haven't had contact with in a long time that might offer you some interesting advice. 

Another popular option is to go to events, although in my experience this can be nerve-wracking for many. However, if you have decided to give it a go, I have put together 8 tips to help you make the most of your networking opportunities at events., 

Here are some valuable tips to keep in mind:

1. Set Clear Goals: Before attending an event, have a specific objective in mind. Ask yourself who you want to meet and why. Take advantage of any attendee lists provided by the event organizers to identify potential clients, mentors, or employees you'd like to connect with. Setting clear goals will help you prepare effectively and remain focused during networking events, leading to more meaningful conversations and better connections.

2. Be Armed with Conversation Starters: Approaching a group of people, whether large or small, can be intimidating. Come prepared with conversation starters to help ease into interactions seamlessly. Begin by introducing yourself to someone who is also looking for someone to talk to. Research industry news and trends beforehand, enabling you to engage in discussions and seek others' perspectives on topics of mutual interest. Effective conversation starters include asking about work, the reason for attending the event, thoughts about the event so far, or knowledge about any of the speakers. By initiating conversations with informed and relevant topics, you can establish rapport and confidence, making it easier to connect with others.

3. Seek Out Experienced Individuals: While it's thrilling to meet influential individuals at networking events, it's important to approach them in the right way. Instead of simply expressing admiration, find a way to tie their work, projects, or philosophies into your own. Approach them confidently, introducing yourself not as a fan, but as an equal, and present thought-provoking questions that they can relate to. Show respect for their thought leadership and aim to spark an interesting and relevant conversation. By exchanging valuable insights, you'll create a connection that could lead to long-lasting relationships.

4. Show Genuine Interest: Make the conversation about the other person. While it's natural to share a bit about yourself, focus on showing authentic interest in the other party. This demonstrates that you value them and their opinions. Engage in active listening by paraphrasing what they say to convey understanding and ask questions that encourage further conversation. By putting the spotlight on others, you leave a lasting impression and lay the groundwork for building stronger relationships.

5. Take Notes for Future Reference: To ensure you don't forget important details about the people you meet, write personal notes after each meaningful conversation. Include a few quick sentences summarizing who they are and what you discussed. This simple practice can save you from embarrassing moments when following up later. Not only does it show professionalism, but it also helps you develop deeper connections with the individuals you meet.

6. Express What You Want: Don't be afraid to ask for what you want during networking events. Be clear and assertive about your intentions without coming across as aggressive. Present your requests with confidence, highlighting how they can benefit both parties. Show flexibility and a willingness to collaborate. By expressing your goals and aspirations, you open doors to potential opportunities and collaborations.

7. Polite Exits: While it's important to make valuable connections, remember that networking events are not speed-dating sessions. There may be times when you need to politely end a conversation. If you sense a lull in the conversation, gracefully conclude by expressing interest in their ongoing projects and inviting them to keep you updated. Alternatively, you can mention your desire to connect with other individuals from specific companies, indicating your intention to expand your network. Be respectful and tactful when ending conversations to maintain positive connections.

8. Follow Up: Ultimately the true value of networking lies in the follow-up. Don't let the connections you make at events fade away. Within 24 hours, send a personalized email or LinkedIn message to show your interest in staying connected. Consider extending an invitation for a coffee or lunch meeting to deepen your connection. Keep in touch through occasional emails, social media interactions, or face-to-face meetings. By consistently nurturing your professional relationships, you build a strong network that can open doors to future opportunities.

Remember, the experiences we have in life can be seen as positive and negative depending on your own lens. Look at networking as a wonderful way to meet interesting people and learn new things. If you don’t give it a try, you will never know!